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Marriage is a beautiful gift from God! To build a strong foundation for marriage, we have to learn to communicate successfully. God wants your union to thrive in every way, and healthy communication is one of the most important aspects of a healthy marriage. Let’s learn how to communicate on purpose in this message from our friend Jimmy Evans!

Why We Communicate:

  • Basic information
  • Partnership / needs
  • Conflict resolution
  • Connection
  • Personal information / revelation
  • Intimate communication

When communication fails on any level, every level is affected or shut off completely.

Our needs are different by God’s design.

Women

Security

Open & honest communication

Soft, non-sexual affection

Leadership

Men

Honor

Sex

Friendship

Domestic support

Five Keys to Successful Communication in Marriage:

1. The right tone

Tone communicates care.

We hear through our deepest needs:

Men = Honor

Women = Security

Five Keys to Successful Communication in Marriage:

2. Enough time

Three Types of Time Needed for Effective Communication:

  • Proactive communication time – approx. 3-5 days per year
  • Personal communication time — approx. 30-60 minutes per day
  • Intimate communication time

Five Keys to Successful Communication in Marriage:

3. An atmosphere of trust

Trust is the key ingredient that allows us to open our hearts to each other.

Genesis 2:24-25 NKJV

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

Five Keys to Successful Communication in Marriage:

4. The truth spoken in love

Ephesians 4:15 NIV

Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.

John 1:14

The word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.

How to Create a Safe Environment for Conflict Resolution:

  • Give your spouse the right to complain without paying a price.
  • Complain and don’t criticize. Begin with affirmation and love.
  • Validate and forgive. Get help if necessary!

Five Keys to Successful Communication in Marriage:

5. A team spirit

How to Develop a Team Spirit:

  • Be honest about your own weaknesses.
  • Praise your spouse’s differences.
  • Seek their input, and always make decisions together.